As an adult wannabe, around Christmas time, I look back on my childhood and reflect on the meaning of these holy days. I leave out the religious stories behind every tradition, as I am a firm believer in nothing, and let myself brainstorm.


Let’s take Santa for example, that old bastard that used to wear Green but then went out all Coca-Cola Red, because he got an offer he couldn’t refuse.

What does Santa mean? I would love the magic to be real, in the way that if you try all year long to be good and then write a letter to an old man living at the end of the world you might just get not one, but a list of wishes come true.

Where would all those good people be if everybody got their wishes? I would say stuck in traffic in expensive cars on Hollywood boulevards or somewhere on an overcrowded exotic island, but hey, that’s just common thinking on my part. So, why do our parents lie to us since early childhood? Why don’t they just take us on a shopping spree right around Christmas and threaten us all year long with it? Why do they feel the need to invent the bearded old bastard? Were they so vulnerable to emotional blackmail that besides lying to us, they needed also to teach us how to escape responsibility by making something up? Wasn’t God enough for that?

Maybe it’s just me, but I think that it must be more to it. I like to believe in the superior meaning of things, like people who are meant to be, or like strange coincidences that make you look up some report figures just before your boss asks you about them, or running into your cheating boyfriend in the least likely place he’s supposed to be and other stuff like that.

Therefore, year after year in December, while dragging my feet to my least favorite place in the city – the Mall – I start thinking about the deeper meaning of Santa Claus. Why  do we need the chain reaction caused by our parent’s above mentioned flaws, that condemns us to spending our Christmas Bonus on gifts for a list of people: from complete strangers, people that annoy us, family members, BAE’s (‘before anyone else’ except in this list) and best friends? Don’t they already know Santa isn’t real?

Could it be that thinking magic is out there keeps us alive?

We never really have gotten over Santa being just a make belief. Every year we buy and receive tons of presents – re-gifted, secret, random, disappointing, handmade, meaningful and sometimes even awesome ones. But what we really want isn’t found under the Christmas tree.

What we want is to make that mental list, the list that cannot be ticked in a shopping mall, the list we only admit to ourselves and the fat old guy because maybe, just maybe, he is really out there – and because, what we know for sure, is that it would take a shitload of magic to deliver what we put on that list.

So, here is December again. For all those who believe in magic outside Sunday services, here is my list this year:

  • I would like to be good all year long. As simple as that sounds, that takes a whole lot of practice, as well as some other personal development areas I am limping at, such as empathy and self awareness
  • I would like to have a job I look forward waking up to every day
  • I would like to see the people around me getting paid for doing what they’re really good at, the stuff they post on Facebook when they find time to remember what they actually love doing: from drawing mind-blowing paintings, to recording their first solo album, to designing shoes, to writing for travel blogs, to having cooking shows more famous than Jamie, to getting their first novel published, to whatever keeps their insane talents far from cubicles and out in the open for everyone to see
  • I would like our parents to find love again, no matter their age
  • I would like to wake up next to somebody I love 90% of the time and to have 10% of the mornings for myself
  • I would like to see every year a new country
  • I would like to meet every year an interesting person that would help me grow
  • I would like to have the emotional power to avoid or close arguments
  • I would like to have the courage to overcome everyday fears
  • I would like to reverse on the spot the words of everyone that is either sucking ass or pretending to be something they are not
  • I would like for every kid in the world to receive something from Santa Claus on Christmas morning

I would like a million people to read the words above.

For Santa, with love.


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